he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin
So prior to getting sick, I was bothered by some comments that my supervisors gave me. I was quite disappointed, and yet on that evening, a truth conference was taken place right away. I had to be serving at the reception desk. Fast forward, I finally finished all sorts of services and the conference ended. The messages were lovely - it's all about loving God and loving one another. I feel it's a practical way for the church to go on. It also applies to my personal married life, and I'm glad my husband who's been so busy could be refreshed by the messages again as well.
Despite all these, I do remember that during the conferences, the comments of supervisors bothered me a lot. I didn't know what to do. All my thinking was "should I delay my thesis submission or not?", and at the same time, I felt a sense of disorientation. I didn't know where to seek the Lord's feelings. On the one hand, my faith seemed to say to me "trust the Lord, you can make it", but on the other hand, I also thought "well, maybe the Lord would like to lead me to take a slower approach to complete this...".
The issue remained the same even after the conference. I didn't know what to do, but I thought, well, I just needed to do my best and catch up on the work right away. Strangely, on that day, I didn't feel very well. A bit of a headache and a loss of focus. I thought "well maybe I just needed to try harder tomorrow". I went to bed earlier that night, but the next following days I literally couldn't do anything. I simply sat and slept, or sometimes when I got really bored, I watched something. Inside my heart, I had some conversations with the Lord. I kinda wanted to complain to the Lord concerning the bad timing of getting sick, but in the end, I wasn't able to utter such words. Somehow I felt that the Lord did this for a good purpose.
Then I happened to review a testimony concerning brother Nee. He was so sick when he was writing "the spiritual man". Sister Barber had been encouraging him with words. One particularly captured me. In 1 Peter 4:1-2 "Since Christ therefore has suffered in the flesh, you also arm yourselves with the same mind (because he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin) No longer to live the rest of the time in the flesh in the lusts of men, but in the will of God."
Amen, I do feel that as things and responsibilities accumulate, I've been spending less time with the Lord and started focusing on things. I might have some enjoyment of the Lord, but deep within me, I know this is not enough. The sickness this time seems to lead me back to Him, to focus on Him, and to seek in His face. In fact, our not being able to love the Lord and focus on the Lord is sin. So the Lord reminded me that my illness in the flesh is to deliver me from sin so I can come close and walk in the will of God with the remaining time that I have on this earth. Oh Lord, how I adore You.
Therefore, after a week of illness, this is another Monday again. I still try to complete my work, but this time, in the fellowship with God.
Christ is Victor!
Don't be dismayed, Christ is Victor!
His power is perfected in weaknesses!
Hallelujah!
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The following is the testimony concerning brother Nee, and how sister M.E. Barber encouraged him during his serious illness.
[他帶病寫作不輟。有時,寫到精疲力竭,不知是睡去或昏暈過去;醒來看見和教士溫和的微笑,在關切的低頭看著他,對他說:“基督是得勝者!”或引聖經說:“那在肉身受過苦的,就已經與罪斷絕了。”或引保羅的話:“祂的能力在人的軟弱上顯得完全。”“不要灰心,基督是得勝者。”]
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